Took it to West Side Gang this evening, and for the most part they liked it. Some thought there was too much description in one place and others liked that section particularly well. Some didn't like how much I have to use dialogue to give the reader information. Another said "O.K. as dialogue."
These differences of opinion don't bother me at all. What they do is further convince me that a book will never sink or float on just one paragraph. In the end, when the book is an entity, not broken into chapters that a group hears one at a time, weeks apart, the balance between description and dialogue will sort itself out, and if it needs major editing (slashing) I can do it.
Meanwhile, here's a sample of Chapter 15:
“Why are you so jittery, Ana?” Adele continued. “I’ll tell you what I think. You’re dating him!”You can find the first three Anastasia Raven Stories at Smashwords or Amazon
“’Not really!’ What does that mean? I saw the way he was looking at you in the car. There’s certainly something going on between you.”
I couldn’t tell Adele the whole truth. She’d blab it all over. “We did go out for dinner. He wants me to help him plan a community event.”
“Hell’s bells. You don’t expect me to believe that do you?”